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Drazah
Number 1 Spore Hero fan
Number 1 Strombonin enjoyer
A green lizard with beedy yellow eyes, and large frills on my face, my dreams are large, but not ambitious.
Dreams that I'll never achieve, thanks to depression and lack of attention.

Age 20, Male

Creature Inspector

GRADUATE

My reveries

Joined on 5/18/21

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Drazah's News

Posted by Drazah - January 1st, 2023


Wazzup BITCHES, it is I, Cyro, your friendly neighborhood lizard that hides under his rock on the furthest reaches of the country.

I have come to tell you, YES YOU, where I have been all this time.


Idk if I have depression or not, I show symptoms like the lack of motivation, sometimes I'll never get out of bed, unless I actually feel awake (which I guess is normal, until I sleep for like 12 hours).


ADHD as well, I have problems with paying attention, and to make matters worse I have problems with learning, I read text, and it goes nowhere, I hear talking and voices, but just can't listen.


I feel emotionally exhausted, I swear this entire household is out to get me, my parents are "nice" guys, you know the one, if I obey their every command, they're nice, and shower me in gifts, it's terrible.

Now we have the animals, screaming birds, small annoying dogs, cats everywhere, fucking hate them, give me some damn space, plus the birds and dogs hurt my ears to no fucking end, I despise them.


Love it when I show anger or sadness even a little bit I get yelled at and ridiculed for showing such emotion, in fact I always feel like someone is out to get me thanks to my early child hood with school, the internet, and my entire family. In fact all these are probably why I have so many problems with my emotional state and mental state, fuck the human species.


And my room is garbage, it's small and crampt, the entire room is like falling apart, but that pisses me off more than like, puts me in extreme rage like my family.


ANYWAYS, I have been doing uhh, fine I guess???

My addiction for porn has grew, even after it shrinking to nothing before hand...

Despite not feeling all that motivated to draw, I sure as hell feel more motivated to draw porn, chunky lizard milfs and dilfs all the way, wait what.


As you can see, I have actually still manage to draw some things.

I also have been making 3D models, well, not much, I have made a bottle, a coin and some other third thing.

I begun on Dusk's 3D model, which has been, uhh hell? I haven't been working on it, I take little steps once in a blue moon.


I also have taken a huge interest in Homestuck, I have been watching Voxus' dub, reading Homestuck is just pure hell, unfortunately I have got to the second to last video they made on Homestuck.

I got pretty far in, not that far from the end.


I have learned to pop systems open and clean/fix/fuck-up them, long ago I got a faulty ps3 controller, which I fixed a year back, then cleaned out my ps3, which I only now realized the entire motherboard is lifted up.

I cleaned a GBC and GBA, and made them work slightly better, but the R button on the GBA just refuses to work no matter how much IPA, same goes for the GBA running GB games.

The GBC works perfectly, the speaker still is shit, but works a lot better.

I cleaned out my Wii Remote.

I fixed my DS Lite's faulty left and down input, they're still funky, but the contacts under look a bit corroded, which again, didn't come off despite IPA being the sollution people claim.

And uhh, despite putting it back together, the DS Light is bloated juuuust a little on the back... And the right side squeaks, guh...

I cleaned out my DSi, but fucked it up like a dumbass, it refuses to turn on because the top screen ribbon is now damaged, no idea how other than excessive crinkling, or a lot of finger prints, because I also, put the wrong screws in the battery terminal area, and now they spin endlessly! Fucking amazing..!

I tried to open my 2DS XL to fix the R button on that, but the entire damn button contact seem to have snapped off, looks like I need a solder kit now! But cna't because my parents won't let me have one, and my Dad keeps reccomending me this garbage alternative where it's like paint, which is fucking dumb.

I don't think I want to open and clean my other DSs.

I have been thinking about opening my Laptop to clean it out, but it's all I have besides my garbage ass phone (phones are trash).


I also finally got to work on my school work, wow, 50+ overdues, got them done in two weeks during end of November, fuck school, seriously, it's mentally draining, and I fucking hate it, FUCKING HATE SCHOOL.


Also happy new year, hope someone sees this.


tl:dr - Mental and emotional issues with family, school and this zoo of a house.

Picked up on Homestuck.

Porn addiction worse

More motivated to draw porn than SFW art

Got into engineering (opening devices and cleaning/fixing them)


Happy New Year!


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Posted by Drazah - December 15th, 2022


Loved not just the game, but the franchise, I tell you what, I'm getting a physical copy for each game, which isn't even expensive, the games range from 5$ to 20$


Also rare my ass, the Spore Galactic edition (that includes the poster, the art of, and making of shit) is very easy to find, plus ranged from 10$ to 20$.


2/10 physical boxes

4/7 physical copies


Is it a waste of money? Kind of?? The games are dirt cheap, but plentiful.

But damn if the box arts didn't look so fucking cool with all these creatures.


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edit: haha can't see the eighty edits I made because I don't proof read my shit.


Tags:

3

Posted by Drazah - October 11th, 2022


I was looking for "Battle with a Dangerous Foe" on YT, and decided to look it up for Mother 3 and found a remix by @Tritnew .



This reminds me of the time I found DrunkGecko on Steam under the Community section for Crash N Sane Trilogy.


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Posted by Drazah - August 18th, 2022


Piece of fucking shit, fuck porn, fuck pornography, I need to try harder to resist this trash.

Times I went a day or two, I felt a little motivation to draw.

There was a time, where I was four days clean, and was super eager to draw.


I slipped up twice yesterday, and got NOTHING done.

Day before I slipped almost twice.


I have times where I can go two days at a time, then days where I slip twice.


Is rubbing one out to a digital image of breasts, ass, and genitals really worth it, when the sacrifice is loosing motivation? A core part of doing shit??


Maybe, just maybe, I can live with my interests in peace, without the intrusion of lust from digital images.


I need to try harder.

I need to resist more.


FUCK PORN


Tags:

1

Posted by Drazah - July 13th, 2022


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Posted by Drazah - June 14th, 2022


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I love him


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Posted by Drazah - June 11th, 2022


EDIT: After looking at thing, I just now realized this is called "Low Self esteem" with a side of "depression" that is all.


These past months.


I have felt really hopeless, I can't be bothered to draw or anything I loved before.

I feel really demotivated to do anything, and I feel like no one cares, or does shit to piss me off specifically.


It's been months since I finished an art piece, I haven't worked on my game in over a month.


I feel hopeless, alone, and targeted, all I love to do anymore is sleep everyday.


No one pays attention to me, and the only reactions I feel like I get are people trying to better me and put me down.


Newgrounds makes me feel so alone, all these collabs and shit, I would participate, but I wouldn't want to disappoint people by either not taking my part, or taking too long.


It really makes me wonder what I'll do when I grow up.


I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

I always feel like shit every day, I feel forgotten, but that's not true, but I can't shake the feeling away.


No matter how much I understand somethings a joke, or if I'm overreacting, I can never shake the feeling off even if I knew it wasn't meant that way.


Everyday I swear I feel depressed, sad and angry more than I feel happy.


Talking to people is futile, so one would care what I have to say or what my problem is.


No one cares

No one cares

And even if I'm wrong, which I am, I can't for the fucking life of me get rid of this feeling.

No matter how much I know I'm wrong, the feeling that no one cares out weights that I know I'm wrong.


Idk why I even bother posting vents, when it's just gonna make be a bigger target.


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Posted by Drazah - May 18th, 2022


I'M DOING IT, I'M TAKING THE FIRST STEP TO MY DREAMS.


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I'M MAKING A FUCKING VIDEO GAME


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8

Posted by Drazah - April 16th, 2022


I think my bedroom was the reason for my depression.


I always feel sluggish in my bedroom, it's claustrophobic, small and there is no air flow.

I feel alive being anywhere and everywhere but there.


I can't get off my game systems in the living room, but back in my bedroom, I just hated playing games in there.


Perhaps using my laptop in the living room can help me make art?

I feel motivated already!


Of course using a drawing pad on my lap would take time to get used too.

And I can't leave all my laptop in the living room, since it's obviously my parents house.


But hey, maybe I can finally make something!


Tags:

Posted by Drazah - March 5th, 2022


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